Friday, April 1, 2011

The space between

I remember making time lines in Elementary School. My teacher would give us this long ticker tape, the kind of paper that could make its way through an old fashioned adding machine {I will still argue makes one of the coolest sounds...ever} The class would all be given a list of dates, some really important stuff that happened on those dates, and we would have to sort through them and place them in order on our ticker tape.

My confusion always came when I had to decide with which date I should begin and end on my timeline, so not to have all my dates jumbled up in one spot or spread too far apart that I would have not enough room. Once I got that sorted, the dates would easily fall into their proper place. My number 2 pencil would find it's way to the paper to make my first of many stick figure's torso, I would write my important event in my invisible bubbled frame hovering above where Mr. Stick's head should be and I was finished.

Our ticker tape for the past several months now has had a lot of white space in between torsos. A few significant dates have passed. Birthdays, anniversaries, first and last days, and milestones reached.

But, how I am filling the space between these dates is where my confusion comes in again. It's like I want time to move as fast as possible but slower than ever all at once. I used to think our life was "boring" but in the best definition of the word. We just did not have drama. Sure, the occasional spat, debate about staying home vs. going back to work. Choices with money always brought some drama, but little regret.  I find myself wishing for that life again. And because I cannot have that wish come true, I fill the space with emptiness. Mindless television, unproductive computer surfing, eating......

It's that space between, in the past, I always felt pretty good about filling. Now I find myself wishing it would just, well, get to the next Mr. Stick.

But this man, he knows how to fill the space.............
being him........and  being her

On many occasions I have accused my husband of being a Pollyanna through this experience,  and you know what? He has been.  I am beginning to understand why......and loving him for it.  He is filling this space with exactly what the space represents......TIME.

He looks at this time as a chance to do what very few men ever get to do. Spend "stay-at-home-mom" kind of time with our children. And he genuinely sees the blessing in that. 

I could stand to take note from the man I love. 

My Three

Because man oh man, can he fill some space!