Stay With US.......

I have had a hard time blogging lately.

I wish I could say it is because I am so busy I just have not had the time.....

But I do.

I thought I could hop on here and say that life is so good, I have more important things to do....

But I really don't 

I wish I could say that life has gotten in the way

but it really has not....

Life feels like it is standing still

we are in so many ways....

Waiting.....

Waiting for Summer to pass....

Waiting for the leaves to change again.....

Waiting for Winter to be here....

Waiting for forward momentum....

Waiting for another new year.

Because, if I am being honest, this year has been hard

and I am ready for it to be a memory.

Things did not work out according to our plan in STL.

We are back here, 

living off family, 

searching for jobs, 

picking up the pieces,

trying to smile and push through

and it is hard.

I have been through what feels like every negative emotion

anger

fear

resentment

bitterness

envy

wishing bad thoughts toward people I once respected

and I am not proud of that.

But I am growing

and I am finding peace 

though pieces of understanding

I have mourned the loss of "what might have been"

I am thankful for what we have

and I am praying for those I once felt fury.

I have found a peace.

But it is hard.

Out of nowhere I will get so angry

at certain things

certain people

nothing in particular

and I have to make a decision

right then and there

Am I going to let this consume me?

My answer is NO!

I won't do that

to my husband

to my kids

my family

I won't do that to myself

I won't do that with this life

I will pray.....

for peace

patience

my marriage

my baby boy and girl

I will ask for guidance

I will fall again, but always 

one less time than I get back up

And this family

this little blog full of  

stories

memories

snapshots

will continue

Perfecting the art of making 

everyday "nothing" into 

something extraordinary

in our home.

drinkin in life......

Life isn't always easy. Some things you choose, some things you don’t, but it stirs together, and you drink it. And if it doesn’t taste quite right, you set to work in your kitchen adding, subtracting, perfecting that recipe until it’s the best damn drink you’ve ever tasted. The perfect cocktail. And Dude, we know how to make a good martini.

friends

There are moments

at a glimpse

I see the end to

 them being siblings

and the beginning

of an 

amazing 

friendship

Show me a SMILE

We went to the Dentist on Tuesday. It was our first cleaning with both the kids. {gulp}

I know, I thought I had it together too? But we put this one off for way too long!!!!

No excuses.....

BUT

financially

after this incident

and this one

it was just a little 

MUCH

to take on for a while there...

So, we finally did it!

Mommy went first, hoping to decrease any anxiety by letting them see that I wasn't crying.

I decided B would go next, just in case we had some trouble, 

and the boy was a champ leading up to getting in the chair

we had discussed the visit for a few days leading up, 

and he walked tall as we entered, 

was even excited to put on the cool shades to protect him from

"Mr. Sunshine"

and then

the chair went back.....

all bets were off

the boy freaked out!!

And it was clear that he had lost it, and was not getting it back

at least not for a while...

So, on to PUNKY 

I told B we could take a break but that he would have to try again after E

he agreed....

and, of course

Guess who bounced into the seat with smiles abound

mouth wide open

shades on

and willing to hold "Mr. Thirsty" with no hesitation

THAT'S OUR GIRL!

B was more willing the second time around

especially with cookie dough toothpaste

{seriously? my back teeth are sweating...}

Whatever it takes!

HE did it, and licked his lips frantically after every tooth was "tickled" and "counted"

I guess it tasted good?

What a sight to see though

both my brave little souls

growing up

facing a fear

and conquering it

I am one proud momma!

CANT Break the RULES

I LOVE this little boy so much!

He is such a RULE FOLLOWER that

when he tries to tell the

"interrupting cow" joke

he simply can't interrupt me!

I have not laughed so hard in MONTHS!

A few more favs from the "ball"

A sweet kiss from Dad-o to daughter.....





Precious cousins, holding hands........





My favorite three..............