who we are

It is a rare occasion that I hand over my camera and ask someone to take a picture of the four of us. 

Emme had a sweet little school performance the other night and I handed the camera to Nonni. I am so glad I did! This is not for a card or anything, but it is a good representation of who we are right now.

My pastor said at church the other day that we often want to come to church or come to God when we have everything "just right" in our lives. He reminded the congregation that God wants us to do just the opposite. He wants us to remember that He accepts us just the way we are RIGHT now, not "just right" now. That lesson hit home for me. I want to believe that I know that about my God. I think I do. 

The problem is that I can't let myself be accepting of the new mother and wife I am, even when I know that God is. I have been and continue to be very hard on myself about what I am accomplishing this year in preparation for Christmas. I feel like I have just been off, the learning curve for working mother is a big one.

I compare myself.......to my last year's  self. And dear last year self, you rocked it out girlfriend. 

But today, as I slow down after two family Christmases and I look around the house....  I see all the loads of unfolded laundry, half-wrapped presents under the tree, decorations haphazardly laying on the floor, kitchen counters covered in baking preparations, I am beginning to see things clearly.

 THIS is who I am right now, who we are right now, and right now will soon be over. So I'm regaining my footing--surveying the scene, and it's grand. I'm burrowing into my family, reflecting on this last year and how far our family has come, feeling grateful and content. 

May you all enjoy your RIGHT NOW as we are enjoying ours.

Merry Christmas!

Preparation

We have been preparing for his arrival for some time now.

It looks different than years passed have looked.

But the effort is being made to make this year special.

We have forgotten to add cotton balls to santa's ever-growing beard,

missed the removal of a few chain links, and pulling ornaments out of our advent calendar has been overlooked a time or two.

But Harry the elf has landed in a new destination each morning, we have gotten the traditional pictures documenting the passing of time and contentment of family.

We are doing it.

I beat myself up a lot being a working mom, worried that I am not giving them the time the need or deserve. Frankly, they are not getting the same me, I am stretched too thin to believe that they are. BUT, they are getting quality time, intentional time. Two parents that are committed to giving them memories and family traditions. And for the moment, that has to be enough. 

We decorated the tree and the house on Black Friday and ate OUR Thanksgiving meal the next day. It was a quiet way to begin the holiday season. 

The mild Saturday weather took Dad-O out to man the lights while Mommy cooked a small turkey breast, roasted root veggies and cubed potatoes. We ate pecan pie with whiskey maple cream sauce for dessert (dad-o's delight) and we began making our annual christmas cd for friends and family.

We have been preparing for his arrival for some time now.

It looks different than years passed have looked.

But the effort is being made to make this year special.