today

We have been working now since August 1st

and the kids have been in school since the 18th

and I would be lying if I said it has been an easy transition.

The truth is, I found my calling when I became a mommy

and teaching was not something I had planned on returning to.

But, it is getting easier in some ways.....each day.

And the difficult stuff I am convinced we will power through.

As we always manage to do.

And today, we were a family.

I was a "stay at home mom" again.

I found myself wondering if I was ever grateful enough for the gift I was given of five years home with my kids. Because in the thick of it, the grass is often greener on the other side. 

Today, I wondered,  "Did I soak them in the way I did today, when I had them everyday all day?"

"Was I as thankful and present in my time with them?"

The answer....

Probably not.

Today, I smelled their skin, held on longer than a normal hug should, and went on spontaneous adventures while Dad-O was gone. Today, I dried her hair as she sat in my lap and studied her sweet curves and folds, aching at the thought of a day she won't need my help with her locks, and struggle to embrace her body in a way that allows for naked blow drying with reckless abandon. 

Today, I was there when he got out all his tools and worked on hammering stuff, with such intent that he hammered his left thumb something awful, and I was there to nurse his wound, and praise him for being such a big boy. Today we read book after book, played chutes and ladders and hi ho cherry o too many times to count. 

Today, I felt it. I was grateful for my time with them. I drank it in.