A Birthday is Upon us........

Almost four years have passed, and I’m still drunk with love every time I look at him, smell him, touch him...........drink him up. He’s all eyelashes and fuzzy butter-soft skin, contented smiles, still such small feet and hands, bruised legs. I can’t remember how I breathed before him? The day we celebrate his birth is upon us and I know my first born. I know his needs, his loves, his dislikes, all of his precious quirks. I would do anything for this precious boy and his sister and for the man who made them possible. But somewhere along the way I lost myself.

I’m not the same person I was 4 years ago. Everything is different, easier and harder. Fifty pounds smaller on the outside, with a heavier heart on the inside. I’m happier and richer and poorer and so much more exhausted. I have two children and I feel like a child. I’m all grown up and responsible and clueless. I have a purpose and a reason, but less direction. I’m thirsty and I’m full. Everything is different and I don’t know where it’s going or where I’m going, but I know that it’s all for these two babes, my husband, for our family. I’ll figure it out, I’m figuring it out as I go..........one step at a time.

I’m not the same person I was 4 years ago.